Episode #27 – November 1, 2024
Welcome to episode 27 of the Writing on Caffeine podcast. My daughter (Ragan Franzone) and I (Jonathan Franzone) are a father and daughter who have decided to write our first novel. In this podcast, we invite you to join us on this journey.
Looking to craft fight scenes that grip your readers from the first punch? In this episode, we dive deep into the art of writing fast-paced, fluid, and fierce action sequences that leap off the page. Learn how to master cause and effect, engage all five senses, and structure dynamic fight scenes that keep your audience on the edge of their seat. Whether you’re writing hand-to-hand combat or epic battles, these tips will ensure your action scenes pack a punch!
Show Notes
Fight scenes are notoriously hard to write, and they can be complicated. There are two key elements to writing them: the macro, which covers the broader structure and how the fight fits into the narrative, and the micro, which looks at the sentence-level action and flow. In this episode, we focus on the micro elements, discussing how to make a fight scene engaging on a moment-to-moment level.
1. Short vs. Long Sentences in Fight Scenes
Common Advice: Write short sentences to convey fast action. But that’s only part of the story.
Key Point: It’s not always about sentence length, but about keeping action beats short. You want a series of distinct, clear verbs that move the fight along.
Example:
“I slam into the hardwood floor, the back of my head hitting so hard I see bursts of light, and then he’s on top of me, blood dripping off his ruined face, one hand squeezing my throat.”
– Dark Matter by Blake Crouch
This example uses four quick action verbs—slam, hitting, on top, squeezing—to give a sense of fast pacing
2. Cause and Effect
The Problem: A string of quick verbs alone won’t make the scene engaging if there’s no sense of cause and effect between them.
Key Point: Each action should flow logically from the previous one. For example, instead of just saying “He kicked, punched, and dodged,” think about why each action happens. Does one action cause a reaction?
Example:
“Holden shook violently in his restraints and then slapped back into his chair as Alex took the Roci through a series of sudden maneuvers and then slammed down the throttle to evade the last of the PDC fire.”
– Leviathan Wakes by James S.A. Corey
3. Sentence Patterns
Use patterns like React-Pause-Act and Goal-Conflict-Disaster to structure your fight scenes.
React-Pause-Act: The character reacts to an attack, pauses to assess, and then acts.
Goal-Conflict-Disaster: The character pursues a goal, encounters a conflict, and faces a disaster (or setback).
Examples:
“I got in close and speared the Krell ship with my light-lance. Then I turned, pulling [goal] the Krell ship out of line with Bog. The cockpit trembled [conflict] around me… sending us both into a frantic out-of-control spin [disaster]…
I cut [react] my acclivity ring, spun [pause] on my axis, then overburned [act] right back downward.”
– Skyward by Brandon Sanderson
4. When to Add Detail
Not every punch or kick needs to be described in full detail. Focus on key moments, such as:
Power Shifts: When the fight turns in favor of one character.
Character Moments: When an action reveals something important about a character.
Narrative Importance: Key moments that drive the plot forward.
Example: In The Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling, she describes the moment of Harry and Voldemort’s last battle in great detail with vivid colors. It almost seems like a slow-motion scene, but it’s one of the most important narrative moments in the book and the entire series.
5. Setting the Scene
Describe the Space: Readers need to understand the environment where the fight takes place. Don’t introduce new environmental details mid-fight unless they’ve been established beforehand.
Example: In Order of the Phoenix, Rowling sets up the space (clocks, desks) before the fight, allowing her to focus on the action without needing to explain the environment mid-scene. (scene in the hall of mysteries and surrounding the death-gate-thingy)
6. Using the Five Senses
Engage the reader’s five senses—sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell—to immerse them in the fight.
Example:
It never fades,” said Holland, “but Athos still reapplies the mark now and then. When he thinks I’m wavering.” He looked down at the stone in his hand. “Or when he’s bored.” His fingers tightened around it, and Kell coughed up more blood.
Desperately, he reached for the coin pendants around his neck, but Holland got there first. He dug them out from under Kell’s collar and snapped the cords with a swift tug, tossing the tokens away down the alley. Kell’s heart sank as he heard the sound of them bouncing into the dark. His mind spun over the blood commands, but he couldn’t seem to hold the words in his head, let alone shape them. Every time one rose up, it fell apart, broken by the thing killing him from the inside. Every time he tried to make a word, more blood filled his mouth. He coughed and clutched at syllables, only to choke on them.– A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab
7. Dialogue in Fight Scenes
Utilitarian Dialogue: Keep it short and necessary. Characters in intense fights don’t have time for monologues.
Emotional Dialogue: Fights often strip away social politeness, revealing the raw emotions between characters.
Comedic Interplay: You may include humor with some comedic banter.
Example: The Princess Bride by William Goldman
- Emotional: Final fight between Inigo Montoya and Count Rugen
- Comedic: Fight between Inigo Montoya and Wesley
8. Internalization vs. Action
Balancing internal thoughts with action is tricky. Internal monologue should focus on why the fight matters in the moment.
Example:
Nizeera screamed and charged into the glen, teeth and claws savagely raking the men holding spears and axes. We fight together, Druidecht. We must save the tree.
– Fireblood by Jeff Wheeler
